what next

I've been looking, actually more perusing different mission agencies through the Urbana site. I'll say this to start, I know God is working on me for a bit before He shows me specifics. He's been showing me again the importance of time just spent with Him. First in prayer, just solely devoted time to God and God alone is so important and so refreshing, but always so difficult to start. Second, time with Him in everything. I felt I had this mastered at school to some degree, but I lost it last year and currently too. How much time is there in a day that can be spent with God. How many mindless moments that can be filled with Him? Obviously, one can't be totally focused in prayer or praise while performing other tasks, but the way that they are done, as known that they are being viewed by the Master, or just praising God with a song are certainly possible. Pray without ceasing says Paul. Pray and don't stop. Amen is only a confirmation, not a good bye. Treat amen like the Canadian eh.

As for the agencies, I have found it difficult to really search whole heartedly. First, I'm pretty opinionated and it doesn't take long to find something about a group that I don't agree with. I know that is the nature of organizations, but so many of them want their people to be completely on the same page. As much as I hate to say it, I don' know if I can be on the same page with any group that has a vision statement. How I wish there would be an agency that had their supreme goal: "To do the will of God" I would hope that looking at these agencies that this goal is already assumed. Most agencies are established for very specific purposes and places. I think much of my frustration rises from not knowing the specifics God wants for me. I could guess and I'm leaning that latin/south america is the place, but I honestly don't know. As for what do to when there.....um, do good? I don't think people get sent to a place on the vague idea of doing good.

I guess that is what bothers me most of all. When I read the Bible, I see God move through people, not ideas, ideologies, organizations, or powerful leadership. And not just any people, totally down and out weak people. Yes, He does use the powerful in the world's eyes, but He delights in using the weak. As Paul points out in 1 Cor. 27-31

"But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God has chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; and God has chosen the base things of the world, and things which are despised, and things which are not, in order to bring to nothing things that are; so that no flesh should glory in His presence. But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who of God is made to us wisdom and righteousness and sanctification and redemption; so that, according as it is written, "He who glories, let him glory in the Lord."

From an outside perspective, I don't see how that can be done through organizations founded for a specific purpose. Unless there is freedom to move as the Spirit guides, how can it be said that a group or individual is truly following the will of God? If a team was sent to a place with only a Bible, lives laid down to Christ, and clothes on their back and told GO! what would happen?